Freesias and Lavenders
by Soapy Water xx
Summary: "I snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. I ran down the stairs and I unlocked the side door. I ran out through the garden and into the forest, and all the way into our meadow. And I brought these freesias and lavenders for you, my Bella."
1. Chapter 1

**A.N: For your delight : ) **

**I will be updating IWMUH over the weekend for sure, but this sprung to mind and I just had to write it. It's very rough and ready, so please do excuse mistakes. It's my first try at a tragedy – I've never lost someone that close to me, so I can't relate, other than books and other magnifique fanfics. **

**ALSO: IF YOU WOULD LIKE A QUICKER UPDATE**

**Check out these two amazing authors and their stories – then review them for me. If more than like three people do I'll update early especially for those special peeps! We clear? K good let's rock. **

**PS: This is my VERY FIRST attempt at a proper tragedy. If it's not sad enough, take it with a pinch of salt, K? **

**PSS: Death via car crash is involved, if this upsets you or offends you in some way please don't read. I don't mean to offend/upset but I know some people could get upset reading this if I've written it okay. K thanks let's rock. **

Title: Daisies and Buttercups

Rating: K+

Summary: "I snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. I ran down the stairs and I unlocked the side door. I ran out through the garden and into the forest, and all the way into our meadow. And I brought these freesias and lavenders for you, my Bella."

"_I snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. I ran down the stairs and unlocked the side door. I ran out through the garden and into the forest, and all the way into our meadow. The pixies gave me these lavenders and freesias for you, my Bella." _

The sky was black, dotted with spots of colour – stars as they burnt out slowly, a million light years away from earth. A full moon hung, suspended by invisible strings in the air as it gleamed, casting silvery rays across the rural landscape.

A pair of wicked green eyes twinkled in the darkness.

Edward Cullen was perched on the edge of his Action Man bed, his feet not quite touching the ground as he swung them back and forth. His auburn hair was ruffled, messy as he stared out of the window, examining the silvery landscape.

He held a freesia and a lavender flower in his hand – the two were entwined with one another, both of them pressed so that they would last forever. He inhaled deeply for a second, catching the weak scents of the flowers, and he sighed heavily as he exhaled.

For in his other hand, there was a picture.

"_Edward!" a small, tinkling voice yelled. _

_A little girl with long mahogany hair and bright chocolate eyes ran across the sand, a kite flying out behind her as she rushed towards Edward, who was sat on a flat rock beside the sea, watching the waves crash against the sharper rocks. _

_Edward immediately looked up, watching as the little girl tripped over her own feet, stumbling and tripping over, an expression of fear marring her pretty face. _

"_Bella!" he cried in spite of himself. _

_He jumped up gracefully, and managed to grab hold of Bella, and spin her around, so that he took the impact of the fall. Bella landed on top of Edward, the two looking straight into one another's eyes. Neither of the children had realised the camera had snapped a picture of the two, capturing them perfectly. _

Edward smiled gently as he admired the picture. He suddenly choked on a sob, his eyes filling with tears before he could stop them. The salty tears trickled down his face, soaking his cheeks and his nose as he closed his eyes and fought valiantly for composure.

He looked out of the window once his tears had dried. The forest had never looked more appealing. He closed his eyes and bit his lip again, the tears reforming faster than he thought possible.

Then, his resolve hardened. He grabbed his puffer jacket from his wardrobe, slipping it on and zipping it up tightly. He pulled a little beanie hat over his head and grabbed a pair of thermal gloves, before he rushed down the stairs with stealth he didn't realise he possessed.

He ran out of the side door, and across the front garden. He didn't admire the view as the tears cascaded down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy and his breathing laboured by his sobs. He jumped over the white picket fence and straight down the valley into the forest.

And as he ran, another memory filled his mind.

"_Where are we going?" _

_Edward grunted slightly as he adjusted little Bella, who was clinging to his back. She didn't weigh very much at all, but Edward was still quite small too – he was barely any taller than she was! _

"_You'll see," Edward wheezed out, before he marched into the forest at a brisk pace. _

_About five minutes into the journey Edward grunted and let Bella down. She giggled as she collapsed onto the ground beside Edward, grabbed his hand and tried to pull him up again as he fought to catch his breath. _

"_Come on, slow poke!" she giggled, poking Edward before shooting off into the trees. Edward stood, still gasping slightly as he rushed after her, following the sound of her shrieks of laughter and her heavy breathing. A second later, there was a gasp followed by silence. _

_Edward broke through the final layer of bushes and stopped at the edge of a large meadow. It was perfectly circular, with lavenders and freesias planted around the edge. It was well kept, the grass was long and swaying in the breeze and in the centre of the clearing, was Bella. _

_She was moving around in a circle, her eyes alight with happiness. She eagerly pulled out a small disposable camera from her pocket and snapped a picture of the meadow. Then, she turned to Edward, her eyes gleaming with happiness._

"_What is this place?" she asked, running towards Edward and diving upon him, enveloping him in a hug. _

"_It's my meadow," he replied. He bit his lip for a couple of seconds, before elaborating – "it's our meadow now." _

_Bella beamed. "Our meadow," she agreed. _

Edward rushed through the trees, his breaths coming in gasps as he finally broke through the final layer of trees, and stepped out into the meadow. The lavenders and freesias still bloomed all around the edge of the meadow as if nothing had happened since Bella was there too.

Edward's sobs became louder in the night as he gently plucked a few freesias and lavenders, holding them in a bunch. He pulled a long shred of fabric from his shirt and gently tied the flowers up in the beige material of his shorts.

He ran again, straight through the forest and out of the other side. His breathing was laboured, he was sweating but inside he felt cold, so cold. He sprinted up the hill on which the tiny cemetery perched and gasped for breath for a couple of seconds, before he pushed open the wrought iron gates and entered the graveyard.

He moved slowly now, with respect. He lowered his volume, inhaling deeply but very quietly. He walked along the gravel path, following it right to the back of the cemetery. When he finally stopped before a new, black marble gravestone, he bent down and put the flowers before it, reading the writing slowly.

_Isabella Marie Swan _

_September 13__th__ 1987 - September 1__st__ 1993 _

_A beloved daughter, cherished little girl and the best friend anyone could ask for. _

_Taken too soon. _

Seeing your best friend's gravestone was enough to make anyone break down. As it was for Edward – he was exhausted, emotionally withdrawn, and more than anything, he needed Bella. Tears dribbled from his eyes again as he stared down at the stone, silently remembering.

"_I can't believe you won!" Bella screeched, though her eyes were still dancing with amusement as she looked angrily at the Snakes and Ladders board. Her eyes lit up with flames, "you cheated!" she fired at him, waiting for him to deny it. _

_Edward merely smirked._

"_I can't believe you!" she snarled, "I thought we were going to play fair for once," she added quietly, a little upset. _

_Edward snorted, "I didn't think you'd play by the rules. Are you telling me you didn't cheat once?" _

_She pouted. _

_Edward laughed._

"_Bella!" Charlie Swan, the best friend of Edward's father and Bella's father himself, called. "It's time for us to go now – say goodbye to Edward." _

_Bella beamed. "See you soon!" she hugged me. _

_He hugged her back. "See you soon," he agreed. _

It was the last time he ever saw her. The car crash had been fatal to them all – Charlie, Renee and Bella were all gone. And though Edward grieved for them all, the loss of his best friend hit him hardest.

…Because there was always the 'what if' at the end, even if Edward was too young to realise it. What if she had survived, and the two had grown up together, and been best friends for life? What if it was supposed to be something more, but they never got the chance to live that 'something more'?

…What if she had lived?

But he didn't think this as he stared down at the flowers that now lay on her grave. He gently rested a hand on the headstone and spoke in a very quiet and tired voice.

"It's me, Bella. I've come to talk to you," he began, voice slurred slightly with tiredness. "I came to see you. I snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. I ran down the stairs and I unlocked the side door. I ran out through the garden and into the forest, and all the way into our meadow. And I brought these freesias and lavenders for you, my Bella.

"I don't know what this feeling is! I wish you were here, you could explain it to me! I can't to my maths homework, I need your help! I need you here with me Bella, and I don't know what to do without you. People look at me funny and they all miss you, but nobody misses you more than I do.

"I need you Bella! I need my best friend back… I need you to laugh and cheat when we play Snakes and Ladders together… I need you to pout when you're wrong and I'm right… I need you to show me how to do all these things… I need you to teach me how to live without you.

"…I miss you. I wish you were here. But I can imagine you up there with the angels. You are an angel – but I picture you with your white dress on and a golden halo circling your head, with two fuzzy white wings on your back and you're smiling down at me now.

"I just hope you miss me as much as I do. I miss you… I miss you… I miss you…" his voice was slurred now, as he collapsed beside the stone, on top of the freesias and the lavenders. His eyelids closed slightly as the rain raged on, "I miss you… I missss… you…"

But before he drifted into unconsciousness, a voice that was not his own echoed through his head:

_I miss you too. _

…

…

…

_A.N: Reviews are greatly appreciated – let me know if you fancy a two shot, perhaps Bella's POV as she watches? Oh and they are supposed to be seven (Bella is six when she is taken.) _


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N: Hey guys! Now, this story is now rated an M. This chap in paticular involves Edward needing serious therapy and help because he never got over Bella's death. No offence would ever be intended with this story, and if this type of thing does offend you, please do not read. I hope it was sad enough, but not overly so. **

**Also, I apologise that I couldn't write it from Bella's POV. If I get a couple of responses, I'll type up the final chap which is where Edward has healed. Also, I'm sorry if you dislike the pairing that I will use for Edward. I need to get it across that Edward had fully healed from the loss of Bella. But this isn't important. Please enjoy this**

**IF YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO READ M RATED FICS, PLEASE DO NOT READ. PLEASE. **

**If you get offended by death, and people needing therapy, please do not read. **

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><p>Chapter 2 – Run<p>

_I miss you too. _

"Son?"

I looked up from the piano keyboard with a weary expression on my face. My Father, Carlisle Cullen, was stood in the doorway, looking deeply uncomfortable as he looked around the room – the room that was filled with many expensive musical instruments.

"Yes?" I asked, my voice a little sharper than intended. I despised being interrupted whilst I was working on pieces on my piano. The ivory keys seemed to dance with life when my fingers took to the keys. When I played Jazz pieces, the room seemed to glow with energy – when I played classical, tragic pieces, everything became still as the notes reverberated throughout the room. It was built to project the sound in an echoing way.

"I was just letting you know that it's almost time for tea. Alice and your Aunt and Uncle are already assembled in the dining hall – I expect you there shortly," he told me, before turning tail and leaving the room, the sound of his leather boots slapping against the floor ringing out behind him.

My Father had changed a lot since I was a child. He had changed more than what I considered to be natural. In ten years, obviously aging was one of the 'perks' of getting older, but what had happened to my Father was not just age.

His hair had been a very vivid blonde colour ten years previously. Now, his hair was black from the time he spent indoors, in his study. He had very thick grey parts to his hair. His brow was permanently creased into a frown, and his face looked to be a good decade older than it actually was.

I already knew the cause though. Losing your best friend, no matter what age you were, left scars. I looked to my piano once more, trying to cover up the sudden tears that had sprung to my eyes. It would be more than embarrassing if I went down to dinner with red eyes and a rough voice.

My best friend was Isabella Swan. I had a picture of her on my piano – her mahogany hair was done into two long plaits down her back, and she was wearing a pair of sunglasses on the edge of her nose. One of her alabaster hands was raised in the air, waving at the camera. Bella had never been very photogenic – she would only take joking pictures. Never serous ones.

Without my realising, my hands had found their way back to the keyboard. The sadness in my heart, the crushing sensation on my heart needed to be spilled from within me. I knew it wasn't normal for the loss to still affect me this way after ten years, but it did.

The melody that came from the keys of my beloved piano was deep and slow. The tenor notes that came from the lower keys of my piano seemed to echo long after the note had died away. The melody was so quiet, so sad, I couldn't stop the tears. By the time the song had ended, the tears were falling thick and fast, splattering onto the ivories. But I didn't care. My eyes stung and my throat itched with the pain.

"Edward, are you coming downstairs to eat with us?" a high soprano voice piqued from the doorway. I hadn't heard anybody enter, and I certainly hadn't heard a knock. I didn't turn, though, didn't speak in fear that she would realise I was crying.

My cousin, Alice Brandon, was a very pixie like girl. She had icy blue eyes and a very kind face. She loved makeup and clothes, dressing up and drawing or designing clothes. She was hoping to become a fashion designed once she finished her A level in University.

I nodded numbly, looking up at the ceiling to try and stop the tears from flowing. I heard Alice's light feet move closer, as she whispered, "Edward?" to me in a very quiet voice. I barely heard her.

Suddenly, I could sense her right behind me. I adjusted myself slightly, trying to hide my face. It was embarrassing to be caught weeping silently in front of the piano. She would assume I was crying because I couldn't do something on the instrument.

"Edward," she said again, her voice was a little more forceful. I heard her move around me, around the piano. She didn't look at me, she plucked the key for the room from its peg and danced back to the door, locking it securely. Then, she gently pulled me upright and over to the little couch and chairs I had set up in the corner of the room.

Without a word, she made me sit down on the couch and lean back. Then, she sat down beside me and passed me a tissue. I didn't even realise I had tissues in the room.

"Take deep breaths," she finally said in a low voice. "Let it all out, Edward. I'll be back in a second."

I heard my cousin leave the room and a second later she returned, once again locking the door behind her. A second later, something cool and damp was placed in my hands. I looked down to see a damp flannel.

She sighed. "Wipe your eyes with that."

There was another brief pause whilst I wiped my eyes with the flannel before she spoke again. I looked up at her questioningly and waited.

"I know what's wrong," she said quietly. This was the talk I got from Carlisle every time I broke down. He was no help in calming me down – he never did anything like this. He just gave me the tissue box and told me not to let the memories become too clear.

"Everyone does," I said hoarsely.

"I know you miss her Edward, but I don't know how it feels. I've never lost someone close to me. I can't relate to you at all," she whispered, and sighed heavily. "But I know how much she meant to you, it's obvious in the way you cry for her even now."

"Alice," I said quietly. "I went to her grave in the middle of the night when I was seven. I sat before headstone and left her lavenders and freesias – her favourite flowers. I was badly ill afterwards. But just before – just before I passed out, I heard her voice in my head – telling me she missed me. But I know it was her, Alice. I don't believe I was hallucinating. It was hard for me, but I just know it was her."

"Oh Edward," she sighed gently. "Did you ever go to speak to someone after she died?"

"No," I replied. "Carlisle did," I sighed heavily. "It didn't seem to help him very much."

"I think you should. I'm not saying you should forget her. I'm just saying you need to be able to focus on real life – not constantly her."

"Alice… even now, I think of the what ifs! If you met her, she'd be dressed up every day in your dresses and outfits. I'd be saving her from your long shopping trips with you and Rose. You'd all be best friends – I know that even now. And that hurts more than anything."

"Edward…"

I sighed heavily. "What does it matter? She's not coming back now. I wish she'd never come to see me that day. Maybe then we'd be happy and going to college together."

"Edward…"

"Maybe we'd be boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe she'd be famous and popular and lovable – Dad would be happy, Charlie would be alive and well, he'd have his best friend back, you'd have a fashion buddy and I'd have my best friend back."

"EDWARD!"

I looked up from my knees. Alice was stood over at the piano with urgency shining in her eyes. She was holding the picture of Bella in one of her tiny hands.

"Is this her?"

"Yes," I replied numbly.

"…Edward… this isn't healthy. You need to put these photos away and try not to think about her. Tomorrow, I'll call the hospital for you, okay? Everything's going to be okay."

"Alice," I warned. The photo in her grasp was slipping slightly. The frame was polished every day and was always gleaming, but it was slippery. She was ignoring me, however, continuing to ramble on about the health of my 'obsession' with her. I wasn't obsessed. She was my best friend and I lost her too soon. I couldn't heal from it. I'd tried.

But I could only watch as the frame slipped from her grasp and tumbled to the ground. The glass shattered on impact with the floor, the fragments of glass cutting into the photo, ruining it. A low cry of pain came from my mouth as I bent down beside the glass and tried to salvage the photo from the wreckage. I could barely feel the glass parts cutting into my skin. I could hear Alice's cries for help as I picked up the photo and gently put it onto the piano.

My hands were marred already, bleeding badly. The sight of blood never affected me – it did Bella. Bella hated blood, she despised blood. It made her feel ill. I recalled the incident when she fell over and cut her knees badly. The cuts were so deep I feared for her life.

"_Edward! I'm bleeding, what do we do?" she asked, leaning back against a trunk of a tree woozily. Her eyes were rolling slightly at the sight of blood. _

"_I don't know!" I panicked, moving towards her. I ripped off parts of my shirt, put them over her knees. The white cotton soaked up the blood, the fabric was dyed red. _

_Bella freaked out once again – "I'm going to die!" _

"_I'll run and get Carlisle!" I replied quickly, dashing through the woods away from Bella. _

I remembered the fear she had felt and the fear I felt for her – but Carlisle had fixed up her knees and she was fine. Bella was always cutting herself since then – she was a real clumsy one. She always laughed when she fell though – it would make me smile.

A hand was waving before my eyes. I looked up to see Carlisle, who was speaking hurriedly to a man who was stood beside him. It was a paramedic.

"Don't worry son," Carlisle whispered to me. "We'll get you help."

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><p><strong>A.N: When I finished writing this up, I realised I'd have to up the rating. I just think it's a little bit too graphic for a T rating, so I've changed it to an M. If you are a teen, you should not have read this, you naughty people. : ) <strong>


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